The Fall Out
by Janet2
Summary: Searching for Mark, afater his disappearance, causes Steve to succumb to a breakdown. Sequel to Only Time Can Tell


This story is a (sort-of) sequel to Only Time Can Tell. The * sort of * being that it set just after Mark disappears and deals with Steve's reaction to it. This is a story that can be read in isolation , but may make a little more sense if read after Only Time Can Tell. Any feedback would be welcome although, if negative, please be constructive.   
  
  
The Fall Out  
  
Closing his apartment door behind him, Dr. Jesse Travis trudged wearily up the hallway and into his lounge. He couldn't remember when he last felt this tired. Not even when he had pulled all those triple shifts as in intern. Throwing his keys in the direction of his coffee table, frowning in irritation as they missed and clattered noisily to the floor, Jesse wandered into his kitchen in search of a caffeine infusion. Flicking the 'on' switch of his coffee maker he rummaged in his refrigerator for the makings of a sandwich. Five minutes later he was ensconced on his sofa, a plate balanced precariously on one knee and a mug of steaming coffee in one hand. Taking a long draught from the mug he leant against the softness of the cushions and allowed his thoughts to wander back over the events of the last few, traumatic days.   
  
He had been the one that had found Mark in the car park of Community General and it had been he who had had the unenviable task of telling his best friend, Steve, that Mark had regained consciousness with total amnesia. If he closed his eyes he could still see the look on Steve's face .Rapidly, the picture in Jesse's minds eye changed from that scene to the one, still vivid in his brain, from earlier that day. He had been waiting at the nurses station for Steve and Cheryl to arrive, having earlier told Steve over the phone that his dad had disappeared out of his room. The elevator doors had opened and before he could speak Steve had been at his throat, both literally and metaphorically. Taking an absentminded bite from his sandwich Jesse shuddered at the memory. He had seen Steve angry before but never had that anger, in all its glory, been directed specifically at him. Steve had strode across the tiled floor and almost lifted Jesse off his feet, all the while yelling that it was all Jesse's fault that Mark had disappeared. For the first time since meeting Steve, Jesse was frightened and it was only Cheryl's intervention that calmed Steve down. It would be a long time before Jesse forgot that feeling although, being Jesse, he had already forgiven Steve. Indeed, in his heart of hearts, Jesse knew that Steve couldn't blame him any more than he was blaming himself. After all, he reasoned to himself, it had been his idea to encourage Mark to get dressed. Part of the 'not feeling like a patient' routine that Mark himself encouraged in his own patients. He felt that it speeded their recovery if they were in their own clothes and that it made them feel less institutionalised.   
  
One of the things that Steve had yelled into Jesse's shocked and unresponsive face had been,  
"How the hell did my dad, Dr. Mark Sloan, Head of Internal Medicine, manage to walk out of this hospital and no-one notice?"  
  
Even at the time Jesse had acknowledged the validity of the question and he was determined to speak to some of the board members about it at some point. Not just because it was Mark who had gone missing, but because all patients and their families deserved to feel that they were safe and being looked after, in every sense of the word, whilst they were in the care of Community General.   
  
Sighing, he put his mug and plate down on the coffee table in front of him. Pushing himself half-heartedly to his feet, Jesse went into his bathroom and got ready for bed. As he stood in front of his mirror cleaning his teeth Jesse wondered what Steve was doing.   
  
*********************  
  
At that exact moment in time the object of his thoughts was standing across a desk from his captain trying to argue that the usual waiting period before filing a missing person report did not apply in this case.   
  
"Sloan," Captain Newman said wearily, for the fourth time, "I cannot simply circumvent the regulations just because it's your father that is missing. I know very well what he means to you, the hospital and this department but that doesn't alter anything."  
  
"Can't you at least ask for uniform to keep an eye out for him as they are cruising around?" Steve almost pleaded, "That wouldn't be out of line, would it?"  
  
Knowing that Steve was quite capable of standing and arguing his case all night, Capt. Newman gave in, "Okay," he said, "I'll arrange for a message to go out via dispatch to all officers out on patrol at the moment and it will be announced at tomorrow mornings roll call.  
Good enough for you Sloan?"  
  
Despite his concern for his father, Steve managed a grin at the tone in his superiors voice.  
  
"Yes sir and thank you," Steve turned and left the office.  
  
For a while he sat at his desk trying to concentrate on some overdue reports but eventually gave up. Rising, he put on his jacket and left the office. It was a miracle that Steve actually arrived at the beach house in one piece that night because he spent most of the journey looking out of the window at all the silver haired, stylish men that he passed. Pulling into the driveway, Steve braked to a halt and turned the engine off. He quickly climbed the outside stairs and opened the front door. As he did the sound of music softly playing floated towards him. Hope rose in his chest and he flew up the internal stairs towards the origin of the sound calling, "Dad? Is that you?"  
  
There was no answer and as he skidded to a halt in the lounge Steve realised that he must have left the radio on that morning when he left for work. The hope that had flickered briefly was snuffed out like a candle left too near an open window. All Steve's strength seemed to dissolve and his long, lean frame unconsciously sought the support of the sofa that, fortunately, was right behind him. For ages Steve sat motionless save for his brain, which was a blur of activity. Questions jostled with one another inside his head. Where was his dad? Was he alright? Why did he leave? Could he (Steve) have done more to help? How was he going to find him? All these questions, and more, fought with one another for supremacy until ,eventually , the emotional upheaval of the day finally took its toll and Steve closed his eyes (just for a moment, he thought) and he slept.  
  
The sun was high in the sky before he awoke the next morning. Stretching, he winced as his muscles protested. Sometime during the night he had toppled sideways and had ended up sleeping in almost an 'L' shape. As Steve stood, in an attempt to loosen his stiff muscles, a familiar smell assailed his nostrils. Coffee! As his head snapped round in the direction of the kitchen door it opened and for a moment Steve held his breath.   
  
************  
  
In the kitchen Amanda heard movement from the lounge and realised that the sleeping man she had passed a few minutes ago had awoken. She poured some coffee into two waiting mugs and splashed some milk into them both before picking them up and opened the door from the kitchen to the lounge.  
  
**************  
  
Amanda never forgot the look on Steve's face as she walked through the door that day. For the first time since she had known Steve he looked totally vulnerable. His face wore an expression of anticipation that was quickly extinguished when he saw who it was coming through the door. Until that moment it hadn't occurred to her that Steve might think it could be Mark in the kitchen. She quickly crossed the room, carefully set the mugs down on a table and laid an apologetic hand on Steve's arm.  
  
"Oh Steve, I'm sorry. I came in a little earlier, saw you asleep and thought I'd make you a cup of coffee and, perhaps, some breakfast. It didn't occur to me that you might think it was...........someone else," she said.  
  
"Dad, you mean?" Steve replied with a sigh.  
  
Amanda regarded him for a second and then said, "What do you intend to do today?"  
  
"I'm on duty at 2 this afternoon," Steve replied, "So I'm going out this morning to have a look around."  
  
"Would you like me to ring around the other hospitals to see if they know anything?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Please," Steve replied.  
  
Amanda looked around at the room, it felt odd. There had been many times in the past when she, Steve and Jesse had been in the house without Mark, but they knew that at some point he would be coming in through the door. Now she wasn't sure if he ever would again. Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought that she might never see Mark again and Steve, seeing those tears, realised that he was not the only one to be worried about Mark and missing him.  
  
He reached out his arms and enveloped Amanda in an embrace that was as comforting to him as it was for her. Drawing her to the sofa Steve sat her down and positioned himself next to her. Leaning forward he picked up the cups of coffee and, handing one to Amanda, drank in silence. Eventually Amanda managed to pull herself together well enough to say to Steve, "Are you going to be okay here on your own?"  
  
For a long moment Steve seemed lost in his thoughts, "I honestly don't know Amanda," he said, "It felt so empty coming in here on my own last night."  
  
"Maybe Jesse would move in for a while," Amanda prompted, knowing full well that Jesse would do anything to help his friend. In fact, he had used those exact words when he spoke to her on the phone much earlier that morning. "I know that he would still be working and not always here when you are, but the house wouldn't feel so empty would it?"   
  
"You're right Amanda," Steve acknowledged, reaching across for the phone, "I'll ring him now."  
  
*****************  
  
Jesse had actually made it all the way to his bed the previous night but, unlike Steve, he hadn't been able to get to sleep. He tossed and turned all night, replaying the day over and over in his mind. He also indulged in something that he hadn't done for many years – mind games. That was what he called them anyway. They involved working through a situation in his mind to see if he could have handled it any better or done something different that would have resulted in a different outcome.. He imagined himself walking into Mark's hospital room. Mark was sitting on the bed reading a paper that one of the nurses had brought in to him. Jesse saw himself walking across the room to stand by his friends side and speaking to him, but he couldn't hear what it was he said. Whatever it was, Mark looked up and a light seemed to flicker on as the veil of amnesia slid from in front of his eyes and he immediately recognised Jesse. In these mind games he knew that he always said the right thing but could never hear what it was. In his bed Jesse sighed in frustration for he knew that this was one of those situations that he would relive time and time again without finding any solution.   
  
Eventually Jesse slept, but it wasn't a restful sleep. He seemed to be constantly dreaming. He alternated between Mark walking back into Community General as if nothing had happened to Cheryl not being around when Steve thundered out of the lift and had been able to pound Jesse into the floor. It was after the third time of working his way through that particular scenario that Jesse awoke with a start, sweating. Peering at the time on his USS Enterprise NC 1701-D alarm clock, he groaned, it was only 5 o'clock. For a while he lay, looking up at the ceiling and then, coming to a decision, sat up and reached for the phone. Blinking sleepily at the buttons he carefully punched in some numbers and put the receiver to his ear, waiting. He listened to the gentle brrr brrr that the phone made as it rang.. His patience was rewarded when he heard a 'click' as the person on the other end of the line picked up and a sleepy voice said, "Yes?"  
  
"Amanda?"  
  
"Jesse?" Amanda queried, "Is everything alright?"  
  
"I'm sorry for waking you Amanda," Jesse apologised, "I just needed to talk to someone."  
  
Although she was less than pleased at being woken up so early, Amanda could hear the need in Jesse's voice and pushed the irritation to the back of her mind.   
  
"Jesse," she said gently, knowing exactly what her friend was thinking "You know that none of this is your fault don't you?"  
  
"Maybe not," he granted, "but that still doesn't make me feel any better. I cannot imagine what Steve must be going through right now. I'd do anything to help him."  
  
"Jesse," Amanda replied, "Sometimes just being there for our friends is all that we can do."  
  
For a long while there was silence at the other end of the phone whilst Jesse digested that piece of advice. Then he said, "Thanks Amanda. I'm sorry to have disturbed you."  
  
"Anytime Jesse," she assured him, "go back to sleep and I'll see you later."  
  
Putting the receiver back onto its cradle, Jesse lay down on his pillows and immediately fell asleep, not waking until his alarm trilled in his ear some hours later.  
  
******************  
  
After having cooked Steve breakfast and stood over him whilst he ate, Amanda drove to Community General. Fortunately her current workload was light although, she mused to herself, that could change in the squeal of a tyre or the pounding of a gun. Her first task and main priority for the morning was to ring around the local hospitals to see if Mark had, by some miracle, turned up there. An hour and too many phone calls later Amanda rested her head despairingly on her hands for no-one matching Marks description had been admitted. She did not relish the next set of calls. There were a number of morgues around the city and that was where she needed to check next. It was almost a relief when she drew a blank there too. Amanda knew that her next task was to ring Steve and let him know what she had found out. She didn't relish the thought of having to say that that was a big fat zero! Deciding to have a cup of coffee first to fortify herself, Amanda left her lab and made her way along the corridor to the nearest doctors lounge. As she walked she passed by the room that, until his disappearance, Mark had occupied. Again, her eyes filled with tears and it was with distinctly blurred eyesight that she continued on her way.   
  
Steve, meanwhile had been true to his word. As soon as Amanda had left he had put on his jacket, picked up his keys and shut the front door behind him. He was halfway down the steps when a thought crossed his mind and he turned on his heels and ascended them again. Unlocking the door he disappeared inside only to reappear a couple of minutes later with a recent photograph of Mark in his hands. Inserting the key into the ignition he reached across to take off the handbrake and he glanced at the photo beside him. Unbidden, his hand changed trajectory and Steve touched the photo gently with the tip of his forefinger, tracing around the outline of his fathers face. "Oh dad," he whispered, "where are you?" Slipping the handbrake off and placing both hands on the steering he nosed out of the drive on the first of many, many circuits of the city that he knew and loved, in search of his father.  
  
****************  
  
Late that evening Jesse was just finalising the paperwork for the transfer of a patient from his care up to the OR when the elevator doors behind him slid open with a quiet swoosh. He looked up and saw Steve coming through them. His stomach did a flip as he saw Steve's face for it was obvious that he had had no luck in his search and subconsciously he moved to stand behind the nurses station. Seeing Jesse's movement brought the first flicker of amusement that Steve had felt in many a week and he managed a weak grin as he spoke, "Relax Jess, you're safe."  
  
Realising what he had done, Jesse returned Steve's grin and stepped out from behind his self imposed barrier. "Coffee?" he offered.  
  
Gratefully taking him up on the offer Steve followed his friend to the doctors lounge. Motioning Steve to a chair he poured them both out a mug each and sat down on the sofa opposite his friend.   
  
"Did you mean what you said on the phone this morning?" he asked.  
  
"About staying at the beach house while we look for dad?" Steve responded and on receiving a nod from his friend continued, "Yes I did. The house felt so empty last night when I got home. I know that we wouldn't always be there at the same time, but the place would at least feel lived in."  
  
"You know I'll do anything to help," Jesse replied. He looked at his watch and then carried on, "My shift ends in half an hour so, barring any emergencies, I can go back to my place and throw some things in a bag. That okay?"  
  
"Fine Jess. I've finished my shift , so I'll just sit here and wait. I'm exhausted." Steve responded, resting his muscular frame back against the chair and closing his eyes.  
  
***************  
  
Entering the beach house some time later Jesse immediately took his bag to the guest room whilst Steve made for the kitchen to make some coffee. Jess was no stranger to either the house or the guest room having stayed there on numerous occasions, most notably when he was recovering from his near-fatal brush with smallpox. Quickly unpacking the few clothes that he had brought with him, intending to return with the rest the next day, he made his way along the narrow hallway towards the lounge. He tentatively sniffed the air and was surprised when he couldn't smell the coffee percolating. Rounding the corner into the lounge he almost collided with Steve who was standing next to the telephone. From his body language it was obvious to Jesse that something was not right.  
  
"What's happened?"  
  
For answer Steve merely reached out and depressed the play button on the answerphone. From the small speaker on the top emerged a tinny, but obviously female voice.  
  
' Lt. Sloan. My name is Eve Marten and I work at KCDM talk radio. We have heard a rumour that your father is missing. Can you ring me back? I would like to arrange an interview. Call me on 555 7439.'  
  
The message faded into silence and Jesse looked across at Steve who was holding onto the edge of the telephone table so tightly that his knuckles were white. Before Jesse could say anything Steve spoke and his voice was dangerously quiet. "Vultures! Where do they get their information from?"  
  
"Could be anyone Steve. Everybody at the hospital knows Mark is missing. Someone could easily have been persuaded to talk for the offer of a few bucks," Jesse replied, carefully prising Steve's fingers from around the edge of the table, which looked to be in serious danger of snapping under the pressure, "Let's forget about coffee and go for some food. We need to check in at Bob's anyway."  
  
They drove, in silence, to the restaurant that they co-owned and on entering Jesse guided Steve to one of their more out of the way tables and went to order their food. After making a quick check that everything was okay Jesse sat down, a very thoughtful expression on his face. Noticing the look and privately thinking how much like Mark Jesse looked at that particular moment Steve said, "I recognise that look. What's going on in that brain of yours?"  
  
For a few seconds Jesse looked at his friend , unsure whether to speak or not.   
  
"Jesse," Steve encouraged.  
  
"It's about that message from the radio station," he held up his hands in defence as Steve's brow darkened with anger at the recollection, "Just hear me out Steve. It struck me that you could turn their obvious need for sensationalism to your advantage. You could go there and make an appeal for anyone that may have seen your dad," he leant forward in his chair as he warmed to his theme, "In fact you could go to the newspapers and even TV. There are lots of people out there who know your dad, one way or another, and I'm sure they would all want to help."  
  
He finished speaking and sat looking at Steve whose face, during Jesse's impassioned speech, had changed from angry to thoughtful.  
  
"You know Jess," he eventually said, " You're not just a pretty face are you? There's brains behind that perennial youthfulness that you portray."  
  
Not sure whether to be flattered or insulted Jesse grinned. Calling over one of the waiters, Jesse ordered some food and the two friends ate in companionable silence.  
  
**************  
  
  
'Why don't you ask Captain Newman for some time off Steve?" Jesse asked, as they were on their way back to the beach house sometime later.  
  
"Can't Jess," Steve shook his head, "No holiday left and I used up all my compassionate time whilst dad was unconscious. Besides, working keeps me sane."  
  
"Like father like son," murmured Jesse, under his breath, although Steve caught the quip and grinned to himself..  
  
Both men went immediately to bed, although neither slept very well.  
  
Next morning, over coffee and donughts, Steve and Jesse discussed what they would do that day. As luck would have it, both had the day off.  
  
"I'm going to get the rest of my things from my apartment, then I've really got to get over to Bobs and do the books," he glanced at Steve and continued, "I wish I could do more to help."  
  
"Jesse, by keeping me company here and keeping Bobs going, you are doing more than enough. This way I know that I haven't got to worry about Bobs at all," Steve responded.  
  
"I suppose." Jesse wasn't totally convinced but in the face of Steve's certainty, he had to be satisfied, "So what's your plan for the day?"  
  
"I'm going to speak to Captain Newman to make sure that I'm not breaking any regs in talking to the media. It shouldn't be a problem because I'll be doing it as a private citizen and not as a police lieutenant. If it's okay I'll contact Eve Marten at KCDM."  
  
***************  
  
Eve Marten sat behind her desk at KCDM, preparing for her show that afternoon when the phone rang.  
  
"KCDM, Eve Marten speaking."  
  
A deep voice came down the phone line, "This is Steve Sloan, you left a message on my answerphone yesterday."  
  
"Lt. Sloan," she began, only to be cut off by Steve.  
  
"I'm talking to you as a private citizen, not as a police officer. I want that to be perfectly clear from the start."  
  
"Okay," Eve said, " Mr. Sloan, I'm glad you called me back. I've heard a rumour that your father has disappeared. Is it true?"  
  
"Yes it is," answered Steve, with a tone to his voice that would have melted the hardest heart.  
  
"Would you be prepared to come in and give me an interview?" Eve asked.  
  
"On one condition. My fathers disappearance is a serious matter and it if you try to sensationalise it this conversation ends now. I want to use your programme to put out an appeal."  
  
"I have no intention of sensationalising, I just want to help. When can you come in?"  
  
"I have a day off today, so anytime," Steve replied.  
  
"My show starts at 3pm, can you get here for that?"  
  
"Yes, I can," Steve answered, "Miss Marten, you need to understand that this won't be an exclusive interview. I want to find my father and I'm going to do everything I can to do that, including the papers and the TV."  
  
"I understand," Eve agreed, "I'll see you at 3."  
  
Steve spent the next couple of hours on the telephone setting up interviews with the papers and the TV. Putting the phone down after his final phone call Steve wandered out on the deck, leant on the wooden rail and gazed out over the ocean. As a police officer he had, on numerous occasions, needed to use the press and he had sometimes found them less than co-operative. This time they couldn't have been more helpful. Steve felt his insides warm in the knowledge of how much his father obviously meant to so many other people. For the first time since Mark had disappeared, beaten and bloody, in the car park, Steve felt in control. He was doing something. The interviews had been arranged for over the next few days to coincide with his off duty periods. Steve planned to let Jesse and Amanda know when they were as he was sure they would want to go with him. Pushing himself back upright, he turned to walk back inside when he heard the front door open and a voice call out, "Steve, are you still here?"  
  
Stopping at the head of the stairs leading to the front door, Steve saw Jesse struggling in with a load of bags. Quickly reaching him Steve took a couple from his friend and asked, "Are there any more?"  
  
Pausing to catch his breath Jesse replied, "No this is the lot. I brought them up in one go, because I wasn't sure if you would still be here."  
  
"I've been setting up some interviews with a couple of journalists at the LA Times and the Daily News and two reporters from KABC and KTTV. In fact," he looked at his watch, " I need to get going if I'm going to have time to eat before I go there. Care to come with me?"  
  
This last was said almost as a throwaway comment. Jesse, however was far more astute that his outward persona gave people to think and he heard the unspoken plea in Steve's voice. Part of him was able to be pleased at Steve asking, albeit subliminally, for help but there was another part that recognised and registered the stress that Steve was under. He made a mental note to keep a very close eye on his best friend and to do all in his power to help.  
  
All he said out loud was, "Sure Steve."  
  
***************  
  
A tall, slim, dark haired man held the door open and said, " Okay Mrs. H. Everything is going along real nice. Next time I see you I expect to see a healthy baby too."  
  
Shutting the door behind him, he moved across to the large picture window that dominated the office and looked out. He loved his work here in Colorado, he thought, but there were times when he really missed his friends and his old life in LA. Ever since Amanda had phoned, a few days back, to tell him about Mark, his periodic restlessness had returned. Sighing, he turned away from the stunning view and was about to press the intercom for the next patient when the phone rang. Sitting down, he picked up the receiver.  
  
"Dr. Stewart. It's Dr. Bentley from Los Angeles on the line for you."  
  
"Put her through Trudy," Jack replied and heard a click as his secretary complied, " Amanda, what's up?"  
  
Amanda's voice, filled with the stress of the last couple of days, crossed the miles between them, "Jack, I'm so glad you are there. I really needed someone to talk to."  
  
Jack was seriously alarmed, "Amanda, has something happened to Mark? He's not ..........." Jack found it almost impossible to say the word, "......dead?"  
  
"Oh no Jack," Amanda reassured him, "at least we don't think so."  
  
"What do you mean, you don't think so?" Jack was confused.  
  
Amanda quickly described the events of the previous two days.  
  
Jack made an immediate decision, "I'm flying out Amanda. Give me 24 hours to sort things out here and I'll be on my way."  
  
"Thanks Jack," Amanda sounded relieved, "Let me know when you are coming in and I'll pick you up."  
  
***************  
  
Just after 2.45 Steve brought his white truck to a halt in the parking lot of KCDM. Switching the engine off he sat, looking out of the windscreen up at the enormous red letter announcing the stations name and gripping the steering wheel.  
  
"Steve," came a quiet voice from his right.  
  
He jumped and looked around at the earnest face next to him. Uncurling his fingers from the wheel, Steve took a deep breath, "OK Jess, let's get this over and done with." So saying he climbed reluctantly out of the truck and made his way inside the building with Jesse following close on his heels.  
  
As they entered the building the young woman sitting behind the reception desk looked up. She flashed them a smile of welcome and said, "Good afternoon gentlemen. What can I do for you?"  
  
"I'm Steve Sloan and I am here for an interview with Eve Marten," Steve said.  
  
Running a finger down a sheet of paper attached to a clipboard in front of her. "Ah, there you are Mr. Sloan," she twisted the board 180 degrees and continued, "could you sign in and wear this badge."  
  
Finishing speaking she looked expectantly at Jesse.  
  
"Jesse Travis," he supplied, in answer to her unspoken question.  
  
"I don't seem to have on my list," she answered, "I'm afraid I can't allow you through."  
  
Jesse felt, rather than saw, Steve stiffen. He knew that Steve needed him in the studio with him and he was prepared to fight for access. He opened his mouth to speak, but was forestalled when he heard Steve say, " Then I suggest you talk to Eve Marten. Jesse Travis comes in with me or I leave now. I don't think that Miss Marten would be too pleased at having a large gap in her running order. Talk radio is really boring without people to talk!"  
  
Taken aback by the words and the manner in which they were delivered, the young woman quickly spoke to Eve Marten. Putting the phone down she added Jesse's name to the list and handed him a badge whilst he signed. As Jess clipped it onto his jacket, a door behind them opened and a woman in her early 30's, or so Jesse guessed, came through it. Making her way across the lobby she held out her hand and shook Steve's , "Hi, I'm Eve Marten and I guess you are Steve Sloan," turning, she looked at Jesse and continued, "and you must be Jesse Travis."  
  
"Dr. Jesse Travis," Steve interposed.  
  
"Sorry," Eve said, walking back across the lobby to the door that she had just come through and opened it, "If you will follow me gentlemen."  
  
Steve and Jesse followed her along a rabbit warren of corridors, all similar in colour and design. Eventually she stopped outside a door, above which was hung a neon sign. It currently read 'OFF AIR'. She pushed it opened and gestured for the two men to enter. They did and sat down on the two chairs that Eve indicated. She herself made her way round to the far side of a large desk where she sat, her face half hidden by a large microphone.  
  
"Mr. Sloan," she began, only to be interrupted by Steve.  
  
"Call me Steve, please."  
  
Eve smiled, "Steve. I want this to be as easy for you as I can. If you don't mind, when we go on the air, I'd like to ask you why your father was in hospital. Then we'll talk about how he disappeared. After that we'll see how things go. Okay?"  
  
Taking a deep breath, he wasn't used to baring his soul in public, Steve nodded. Eve Marten then turned her attention to Jesse and said, "We'll mike you up as well Dr. Travis so that you can chip in at any time. Is that okay with you Steve?"  
  
"That's fine. Actually Jesse will be more help with my dad's condition. He is his doctor."  
  
"Alright," Eve looked at the large, white faced clock on the wall behind Steve's head and continued, "Thirty seconds to go."  
  
Steve shot Jesse a nervous look and Jesse responded by reaching across and gripped Steve's forearm in a gesture of support. Into the silence came the sound of Eve Martens signature tune. As the music faded away into nothing, it was replaced by Eve's measured tones.  
  
"Good afternoon Los Angeles. This is Eve Marten on KCDM," she paused for a second before continuing, " The name, Dr. Mark Sloan, is well known throughout the city. He is the well respected Chief of Internal Medicine at Community General Hospital as well as being a consultant to the LAPD. A couple of days ago he disappeared from the room where he was a patient. To find out why he was in hospital and exactly what has happened I have with me this afternoon his son, Steve Sloan and colleague Dr. Jesse Travis. Steve , can you tell me what happened to your father?"  
Steve's mouth went dry and he swallowed reflexively a couple of times before answering.  
  
"About ten days ago my father was brutally attacked in the car park of Community General and for nearly a week was unconscious. When he regained consciousness we discovered that he had total amnesia."  
  
"That must have been very difficult for you," Eve sympathised, "seeing him like that."  
  
"That is a major understatement," Steve replied.  
  
"Carry on Steve," Eve encouraged, " how did he react on seeing you?"  
  
A spasm of pain crossed Steve's face and, seeing it, Jesse jumped in and answered the question,   
" When Mark woke he was very disoriented and distressed. I judged it unwise for Steve to see him."  
  
"Surely," Eve asked, "it is universally agreed that amnesia victims respond to familiar stimuli Dr Travis?"  
  
"That's correct," Jesse agreed, "but Mark always taught me to treat each patient as an individual and, in my opinion, it would have been counter-productive."  
  
"So how come no-one noticed a man, well known to everyone in the building and who was, presumably, wearing a hospital gown, walk out of the hospital?"  
  
"He was wearing every day clothes," Jesse explained, "Mark, himself, holds the view that patients recover faster if they are able to wear their normal everyday clothes around the hospital. It wasn't common knowledge that Mark had amnesia and if people had seen him they would have assumed that I had said it was okay for him to go for a stroll around the hospital."  
  
He swallowed and his voice was thick with tears as he continued, "I will never forgive myself if anything happens to him."  
  
This time, it was Steve who laid a reassuring hand on his friends arm.  
  
The rest of the interview went fairly smoothly but by the time they left the small studio, both Steve and Jesse felt like they had been put through the ringer.  
  
***************  
  
48 hours later Amanda sat in the arrivals lounge of LA-X airport. She pushed up the sleeve of her tailored leather jacket and looked at her watch. She clicked her teeth in irritation. Jack's flight had landed a while ago but, for some reason, no-one had come through the arrivals gate. Leaning back in her seat, Amanda reflected on the interview that she and Steve had done at KTTV the day before. They had arrive early and were led through into the make- up room. Despite her anxiety about Steve, Amanda couldn't help but chuckle to herself as she recalled Steve's horrified face when the make-up girl began patting his face with powder. They were then taken through into the studio, past all the thick, grey wires that snaked all across the studio floor. Past the studio staff and, finally, a large camera which was already trained on a small dais filled with three, light grey easy chairs. Sitting in one, reading some notes on a clipboard, was a slightly overweight, middle aged man in a dark blue suit. He looked up as they approached and their guide said, "Shaun, this is Steve Sloan and Amanda Bentley."  
  
Shaun Hayter stood, shook their hands and then motioned for them to take the two remaining seats. They sat and Shaun briefly explained what would be happening.  
  
Into Amanda's musings intruded an announcement that told her Jacks flight was finally disembarking. As she stood and moved closer to the gate Amanda thought just how proud Mark would have been of Steve. He answered all the questions he was asked clearly and calmly, as did Amanda herself when questioned. Only she knew exactly how much it cost Steve to maintain that air of outward calm. The camera was not able to pick up the nerve that twitched intermittently in Steve's temple. Nor did it pick up Steve's hands, which were clasped together in his lap, so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.  
  
"Yo Amanda!" a loud, cheery voice penetrated her ears and her head snapped round to see a smiling Jack Stewart striding towards her, a suitcase in one hand and a large flight bag slung carelessly over one shoulder.  
  
Reaching Amanda, Jack unceremoniously dropped his case and bag onto the floor and his arms enveloped her in a bone crushing hug, from which she emerged ruffled, breathless and a little tearful. Her relationship with Jack had always been fiery but Amanda knew that he would always be there if, and when, she needed him. She let herself relax against Jacks leather clad torso. It felt so good to be able to let go of , at least, some of her tension. Since Mark had disappeared Amanda had felt that she was living in a constant state of tension. Steve needed her to be strong and so, she felt, did Jesse. As much as he had grown in confidence and maturity in the time that she had known him Amanda still, in the deep recesses of her mind, saw Jesse as a younger brother to be looked after not a man in his own right, to be relied on.   
  
Later that afternoon, having dropped Jacks bags off at Amanda's , the two friends drove out to the beach house. Parking her car in the drive, Amanda and Jack made their way round to the beach and ascended the staircase to the decking which overlooked the ocean. As they rose higher voices floated over the balustrade to them  
  
"What did Amanda say she was doing this morning?" Steve was asking Jesse.  
  
Reaching the top step, Jack halted and said, "She was picking me up from the airport."  
  
Steve looked up and his face split into the most genuine smile that anyone had seen from him in a good long while. He leapt up out of the chair he was in, nearly knocking Jesse over in the process, and strode across to fling his arms around his friend.   
  
"Jack! What are you doing here?" he asked.  
  
"Amanda phoned. She sounded like she needed me, so here I am." Jack said.   
  
"What about your practice?" Steve continued.  
  
"My partner can look after it for a while. You guys are more important."  
  
Jesse, meanwhile, was sitting silently surveying the two men in front of him. He could see how pleased Steve was to see Jack and a part of him was glad. However there was another part – a small, dark part – that resented the appearance of Jack Stewart. He had been told lots of stories involving Jack over the years and he had always felt intimidated by what he had heard. The Jack Stewart he had heard about was intelligent, bright, articulate. He was also brave, outspoken and would never hesitate to leap in if he felt his friends were in danger. Jesse looked across at the man standing not ten feet from him and knew that everything he had heard was correct. It didn't occur to Jesse that he himself had all the attributes that he ascribed to Jack Stewart. He was loyal, brave and intelligent. All that differentiated the two men, was the way that those attributes manifested themselves. He saw Amanda looking at him and he managed to rustle up a glimmer of a smile.  
  
Steve looked across at Jesse and said, "Jesse, I'd like you to meet Dr. Jack Stewart. You've heard all about him over the years and now's your chance to see him in the flesh."  
  
Jesse stood up and walked across, hand outstretched saying, " It's good to meet you Dr. Stewart."  
  
Taking Jesse's hand Jack replied, "Jack please. I've heard about you too. I feel like I know you already."  
  
As he let go of Jesse's hand Amanda said, "How about some coffee?"  
  
"Good idea Amanda," Jack replied, flopping down onto one of the chairs, put his feet up on the balustrade in front of him and continued, "I wouldn't say no to a donut either."  
  
Amanda's snort echoed back out from the direction of the lounge as she made her way to the kitchen.   
  
As Steve and Jesse sat back down, Jack continued, "So, bring me up to date Steve. What have you been doing?"  
  
Methodically almost clinically, like he was describing his current case, Steve detailed what he, Jesse and Amanda had been doing to find Mark.  
  
"And there have been no sightings of him at all?" Jack was incredulous, " How can someone as well known as Mark vanish off the face of the earth?"  
  
Steve slumped down into his seat the energy surge, from seeing Jack, leaving him as quickly as it had come. He rubbed his hand across his eyes as a spasm of emotion crossed his face. "Jack, I don't know, I really don't and I feel like I'm running out of options."  
  
Before Jack or Jesse could respond, Amanda emerged from the house carrying a tray with four steaming mugs of coffee and a plate of donuts. Sitting up in his chair, Jack sniffed appreciatively and, reaching out for a mug and a donut at the same time said, "Ah, health food!"  
  
Steve was just reaching out to pick up a donut when the sound of the phone ringing reached their ears. Steve's hand dropped away from the plate as he leapt out of his chair and almost sprinted into the house. Jesse followed his friends action with concern in his eyes.  
  
"What's the matter Jesse?" Jack queried, having noted the look.  
  
"I'm worried about Steve," he replied, "I think he's near the edge and I'm not sure what to do to help."  
  
"We need to try to get him to relax," Jack said.  
  
"Can I be there when you suggest that to him?" Jesses voice dripped with sarcasm.  
  
Swivelling in his chair to look Jesse squarely in the eyes Jack said, "He needs to relax otherwise he will go over the edge."  
  
"You'll get no argument from me there Jack," Jesse replied, "but Steve is like a man possessed. When he isn't on duty he's been giving interview or scouring the city for hours."  
  
Jack was about to open his mouth to reply when Steve came back out, pulling on his jacket as he did so.  
  
"Where are you going Steve?" Amanda wanted to know.  
  
"There's been a homicide,"he replied, carefully placing his gun into its holster where it lay, nestled against his right hip.  
  
"Why must you go?" Amanda persisted.  
  
"Because it's the third similar homicide we've had in the last month and I've been involved in investigating the last two," he walked to the steps continuing, "Don't wait up for me."  
  
Steve disappeared and a couple of minutes later they heard his car engine fire and the car pull out of the drive, the sound fading into the distance. Jack turned again to Jesse and said, "I think you are worrying a bit too much Jesse. Steve seems to be coping just fine."  
  
"Hmph," Jesse replied, standing up and continuing, "I have an early shift ,so I'm going to bed. Can you take the stuff inside before you go and shut the doors?"  
  
Amanda gazed, perplexed, at Jesses retreating back. In all the time she had known him, Jesse had never acted like that before. It was totally out of character. She couldn't figure out what was up but she was determined to know before much more time had elapsed.  
  
Over the succeeding days and weeks it seemed, to Amanda and Jack at least, that Jesse's prediction was way off the mark. When Steve wasn't on duty he spent much of his time criss-crossing the city following up leads gained from his appearances on TV, radio and the newspapers. What time he had left, he spent with Amanda, Jesse and Jack either individually or as a group. Amanda grew to dislike those times, for Jesse seemed to have distanced himself from her and treated Jack like a familiar stranger. She had not had the time to speak to Jesse and even when she did find a few minutes Jesse seemed to be elusive. It was almost, she thought, as though Jesse were avoiding her.  
When they were all together Steve seemed to be his usual self, although a little quieter than normal but neither Jack nor Amanda saw anything odd in that. They were all busy and all tired. It was only Jesse that saw Steve at his lowest and that only by chance. Even when they were on their own he kept up the façade. It was only when he thought that Jesse wasn't looking, or that he was on his own, that he let his mask slip. The sparkle would leave his eyes and the corners of his mouth would take an almost imperceptible downturn. Gazing out over his beloved ocean, his shoulders would sag and his whole body language screamed utter dejection. Then he would hear a sound and it would be like a switch flicked in his brain and the mask slipped into place again.  
  
******************  
  
The sun was shining in through the bedroom window as Jesse awoke. Turning his head he squinted at the clock on his bedside and groaned. It was only 6.30am!! He had been on duty the previous afternoon and was just about to go off duty when the bloody aftermath of a mutli-vehicle pile up rolled to a halt through the doors of his ER. It was several hours later before he was able to drag his protesting, exhausted body back to the beach house. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.  
  
As he lay there, alternately cursing being awake and trying to re-achieve that state, the total silence surrounding him penetrated his consciousness. Forcing his eyes open, Jesse levered his aching body vertical and looked again at his clock. A frown creased his forehead. Steve was on duty that morning and he would have expected to hear his friend getting ready – the radio playing, footsteps wandering back and forth and to have the smell of freshly percolated coffee wafting through the house. Twisting his body, so that his feet touched the floor, Jesse quickly pulled on a pair of sweat pants that he kept by the bed in case of emergency and rose to investigate the silence.  
  
Jesse padded quickly along the short corridor from his room to the lounge. Silence. Continuing on he reached the kitchen. Pushing the door open he went in. Silence. Looking around him, Jesse was disturbed to notice that there was no sign that Steve had been in the kitchen at all that morning. Leaving the kitchen Jesse made his way down the stairs to the door of Steve's apartment and , opening it, walked in. Silence  
  
"Steve?" he called hesitatingly, stepping further into his friends domain.  
  
The silence was beginning to unnerve Jesse. If he hadn't been able to hear the sound of the surf as it hit the beach outside, he would have convinced himself that either he had gone deaf or that time had stood still. Jesse was wondering what to do next when, finally, a sound reached his ears. For a second he stood, transfixed, not sure of what he had heard when the sound came again. It seemed to be coming from the direction of Steve's room. Carefully crossing the carpeted floor Jesse called, "Steve are you there?"  
  
Silence.  
  
Cautiously pushing the bedroom door open, Jesse stood framed in the doorway taking a few seconds for his sight to adjust to the gloom. His gaze swept around the room and alighted on a hump in the middle of the large double bed on the far wall. Initially, Jesse thought that his eyes were playing tricks on him, for the whole bed seemed to be shaking. Walking across, he laid a hesitant hand on the hump, "Steve?"  
  
Silence.   
  
Unsure of what he would find, Jesse gingerly pulled back the quilt. What he saw shocked him into momentary immobility. It was Steve, but not as Jesse had ever seen him before. His friend was curled up, foetal like, into a tight ball in the centre of the bed whilst large tears ran silently down his face. Again Jesse laid a tentative hand on his friends shoulder. There was no response whatsoever, no acknowledgment either verbally or physically that Steve was aware of Jesse's presence. Jesse thought for a second and then left the room , taking the stairs two at a time. He raced into his bedroom, snatched up his bag and was back next to his friend in record time. Kneeling down beside the bed, Jesse opened his bag and extracted his flashlight. Shining it in Steve's eyes he received the response he hoped for. The pupils in Steve's eyes reduced in size to almost a pinprick, but that was all. There was nothing else. Sitting back on his heels Jesse contemplated his friend and tried to decide what to do next.   
  
"Steve," he pleaded, "talk to me buddy."  
  
As he looked on the sobbing gradually ceased, as though somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of his friends' mine he was aware of Jesses presence. Steve slowly straightened out until he lay his full length on the bed.  
  
"Steve?" Jesse persisted, but there was no answer.   
  
Standing, Jesse looked down at Steve who was lying motionless on the dark blue sheet, his feet tucked out of sight underneath the duvet. There was a quality about Steve's stillness that concerned Jesse. It wasn't a relaxed stillness, it was the type of stillness that spoke of something broken, something missing and when Jesse looked down into Steve's face he knew what it was. Steve's spirit. The normal Steve was full of spirit and it showed in his eyes. The eyes that stared, sightlessly, up at Jesse were empty. It was like someone had drained every dreg of emotion out of that body.   
  
The shrill trilling of the phone next to Steve's bed brought Jesse out of his reverie. Picking up the phone Jesse said, "Sloan residence."  
  
"Sloan?" came a somewhat irritated voice.  
  
"No, this is Jesse Travis."  
  
"Travis, this is Captain Newman. Sloan is late for his shift. Do you know where he is?"  
  
Jesse glanced quickly down at the man on the bed next to him and his voice, when he spoke, was subdued. "I'm afraid he won't be there today Captain or indeed the foreseeable future."  
  
"What has happened?" Captain Newman's voice changed, for despite his brusque manner, he was genuinely concerned for his detectives welfare.  
  
"I'm not a psychiatrist Captain but my educated guess would be is that Steve has had a complete breakdown. I'm just not sure was precipitated it."  
  
"I think I can shed some light on that Travis," Captain Newman responded, "Yesterday Steve was called to a suspicious death.. A young couple had found the body of an elderly man, with silver hair and a moustache."  
  
Jesse sank onto the bed next to his friend, "Ah hell!" he said, " Was it Mark?"  
  
"No, it wasn't but I think it was a shock to Steve," Newman said, "What do you intend to do with Steve."  
  
"I'm going to get him admitted to CG and then we'll see. I think that Steve's recovery is going to take a long time."  
  
"Get him admitted Travis, " Newman said, "leave the rest to me. The LAPD have a facility in the hills that specialise in this sort of thing."  
  
"Doesn't admission to those places follow injuries in the line of duty?" Jesse queried.  
  
"Leave that to me," Newman's voice was determined and Jesse pitied anyone who tried to thwart him on this.   
  
Breaking the connection to Captain Newman Jesse redialled, this time Community General. He quickly arranged for Steve to be admitted. Placing the receiver back on its cradle he looked down at Steve and decided that he ought to get his friend dressed. Jesse had heard many stories in the past of people who were in the same position as Steve say, when they had recovered, that they remembered everything that happened to them during their illness. He didn't want Steve to have the memory of being carried out from his house wrapped only in a blanket. He also knew that Mark, wherever he was, would want Steve to have his dignity kept intact.  
  
It took all Jesses ingenuity and strength to haul Steve upright and drag his clothes on him. It was like trying to dress a fluidic Action Hero doll and by the time Jesse had accomplished his task he was breathing heavily and sweating profusely. Leading Steve carefully and slowly, Jesse climbed the stairs and they reached the front door at the same time as the ambulance pulled into the driveway. Jesse stood at the top of the stairs and watched as the two paramedics gently eased Steve into the ambulance, shut the door behind his friend and drive off. He stood, immobile, for a minute or so and then shook himself. Moving back into the house Jesse picked up the phone again to make the call he had been dreading, before driving to the hospital himself.  
  
************  
  
Amanda and Jack were sitting on her veranda drinking coffee when the phone rang. Picking it up Amanda said, "Hi Jess, you're up early." she listened for a few seconds and then ," WHAT! We're on our way."  
  
During the brief conversation Jack had put his much down on the smoked glass table in front of him, "What's up Amanda?" he asked.  
  
Bustling through her veranda doors Amanda called back over her shoulder , "It's Steve. He's had some sort of breakdown and Jesse has admitted him to CG."  
  
Their coffee sat, unheeded and growing ever colder, in their mugs as Jack and Amanda sped towards the hospital and their stricken friend. Turning into the hospital car park Amanda screeched her car to a halt in a space as near to the entrance as she could get. Barely stopping to lock the car behind her, Amanda almost had to run to keep up with Jack who strode ahead of her into the hospital. They stepped out of the elevator just as Jesse emerged from a room halfway along the corridor, busily talking to a younger, white coated man.  
  
"Jesse!" called out Jack.   
  
Jesse looked up and made his way towards them. Unable to wait Amanda moved too and she met Jesse halfway.  
  
"What's happened? Is Steve okay?" she wanted to know.  
  
"Let's go into the doctors lounge and I'll explain," said Jesse taking Amanda's arm and, as with Steve earlier on, gently led her along the corridor with Jack following them both.   
  
Once they were all settled, Jesse carefully explained how he had found Steve that morning and what he had done since. Amanda pelted Jesse with questions, most of which he couldn't answer. When she finally ran out of steam as well as question, a silence came over the room. It was then that Jesse turned to Jack, who had been uncharacteristically quiet.  
  
"Jack, are you okay?" he asked.  
  
For a minute Jack didn't answer, he seemed lost in thought. Then he gave himself a mental shake and looked up at Jesse, was surprised to see the sparkle of latent tears shining in his eyes. It was at that point that Jesse realised that Steve meant as much to Jack as he did to himself and Amanda.  
  
"I'm sorry Jesse," he said quietly, "you warned us that Steve was close to the edge and I didn't believe you. If I'd listened maybe we could have prevented this."  
  
As angry as Jesse had been with Jack, he felt himself responding to the obvious sincerity in Jack's voice. He walked over and sat beside Jack putting a consoling hand on his shoulder.  
  
"I don't think that anyone could have changed this outcome Jack. Steve was on a collision course with this breakdown, the only surprise is that it has taken him this long to get there."  
  
"So what do we do now?" Amanda queried.  
  
"For the moment," began Jesse, "nothing. I've had Steve admitted and he will be assessed tomorrow by Dr. Steele. Captain Newman tells me that there is a facility used by the LAPD that we can transfer Steve to when the time is right."  
  
"Can we see him?" Amanda stood up.  
  
"Just for a minute." Jesse agreed.  
  
The three left the doctors lounge and walked the few metres along the corridor to where Steve lay. As they entered his room, it was all Amanda could do not to cry. She had seen Steve in a hospital bed many times and in a condition that was far more life threatening than this, but this seemed different. Steve was a tall, well built man with a well defined physique, yet the man in the bed in front of her seemed small. Amanda moved until she was standing next to the bed and reached out to hold onto Steve's hand.   
  
"Steve?" her voice was thick with emotion, " Can you hear me?"  
  
There was no response. Not even by a flicker of his eyes did Steve betray that he was aware of their presence and after a couple of minutes they all left the room. As they were walking along the corridor Amanda asked, "Are you planning to put Steve on a feeding drip if he stays like this Jess?"  
  
"I don't think so," he replied, "I managed to get him dressed and up the stairs this morning, so I suspect we will be able to get him to eat. We'll just have to make sure that someone is there at every mealtime and that he is checked on a regular basis."  
  
"I'll do the meals Jesse," Jack volunteered, " you two still have your jobs to do."  
  
"We'll take it in turns Jack." Jesse answered gratefully, " Tell you what, let's get together at the beach house tonight and we can organise ourselves around my shifts."  
  
"Okay." Agreed Jack, " I'll stop off at Bobs and bring some food."  
  
*************  
  
Over the next couple of weeks Jesse, Jack and Amanda, occasionally relieved by Alex or Cheryl, spent much of their free time with Steve. When they weren't feeding him, they simply sat and talked to him letting him know what was going on in the world, the hospital or at Bobs. In Cheryl's case she regaled her partner with stories of the precinct. Jesse and Jack took it in turns to get Steve into the shower and back into bed afterwards, whilst Cheryl and Amanda gladly took on shaving duty.  
Once or twice, even Captain Newman popped in. He had managed, with a little bit of heavy persuasion, to secure Steve a place at Redwood Plains, the LAPD rest care facility, within the month. Early one evening about two weeks after Steve's admittance to Community General Amanda, Jack and Jesse were sitting in the doctors lounge along from Steve's room.  
  
"I spoke with Jim Newman this morning," Jesse began, " Redwood Plains rang him this afternoon. They want me to ring them in the morning to arrange Steve's transfer."  
  
"How do you think Steve will deal with that?" Amanda asked.   
  
"I think he'll be okay. It's the right time," Jesse answered, "I honestly don't know that we can help him any further."  
  
"I agree Jesse," said Jack.  
  
Jesse continued, "Steve has stopped lying curled up in a ball. He's eating a little better and it's not taking quite so much effort to get him in and out of the shower. We don't have the facilities or the expertise to take him any further forward and I think the time is right to hand him over to the experts."  
  
Amanda nodded her agreement but, like Jack earlier, her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. Jack moved across, sat on the side of her chair and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "He'll be okay Amanda. I've checked these guys out and they are the best there is."  
  
********  
  
Forty eight hours later Jesse arrived in Steve's room bright and early in order to get his friend ready. Despite his outward confidence, Jesse still felt a deep sense of failure. He felt that he had let Steve down and, to a lesser extent, Mark.  
  
He had spoken to Dr. Kyle Johnson, the medical director of Redwood Plains the previous evening and had been reassured by the conversation. Kyle Johnson sounded like a really good guy and, from his description of his facility, Jesse knew that Steve would be well care for.  
  
Redwood Plains was situated in the mountains about an hour outside LA. Its grounds were extensive, covering some 300 acres. There were numerous walking trails which catered for all levels of skill and fitness, both mental and physical. The main building , or ranch house, as Kyle liked to call it was a large, sprawling structure that nestled on the edge of a large lake. Kyle Johnson was a firm believe in the efficacy of physical activity when dealing with illness of the mind.  
Nothing was ever forced on a patient, it was just there and available. Jesse privately thought that Steve would relish the opportunities that Redwood Plains clearly provided. All around the lake shore were a number of small cabins. They were for patients to use near the end of the their stay. Many patients, by virtue of their illness, spent many months at Redwood Plains and to be able to live in the cabins enabled them to regain a measure of independence before they went home.  
  
Like Jack, Jesse had checked out Redwood Plains with many of his colleagues and he was pleased to note that every single one of them gave it a glowing report. The treatment that each patient received was firmly based on their individual needs. An holistic approach, one colleague described it as. Kyle Johnson did not believe in popping pills into his patients just for the sake of it. If it was necessary then he prescribed medication, but it wasn't ever his first port of call. On staff there were psychiatrists who specialised in trauma following the loss of a loved one. When Jesse commented that, to the best of his knowledge, Mark was still alive Kyle Johnson replied that dead or not, Steve had effectively lost Mark.  
  
Jesse had requested that he be allowed to drive Steve out to Redwood Plains rather than have an ambulance sent for him. Although Steve was still not responding outwardly, Jesse wanted to make everything as normal as possible. Kyle agreed to this course of action for a couple of reasons. Firstly, he believed in keeping his patients as calm as possible during transfer and he bowed to Jesse's superior knowledge of his friend. Secondly, he wanted to meet Dr. Jesse Travis for he not only heard the concern of a doctor for his patient, but he also heard the anxiety and love in Jesse's voice when he spoke of the trauma that his friend was going through.   
  
Early the next morning, whilst much of the hospital was still asleep and the corridors were almost devoid of activity, Jesse led an unresisting Steve into the elevator and down to his car.  
  
It had been an hour earlier that Jesse had entered Steve's room. As usual, Steve was awake and lying unblinking at the flickering colours of the TV screen on the opposite wall. Jesse had made the decision early on to leave the TV on all the time, he hoped that the constant company it provided would help Steve. This time, on entering, Jesse crossed the room and turned the TV off saying, "Okay Steve. You need to get up, washed and dressed. I'm driving you to Redwood Plains today. Do you remember me telling you about it last night?"  
  
Another decision that Jesse had made, which Jack and Amanda had concurred with, was that they would talk to Steve rather than at him. Jesse hated hearing patients who were unresponsive being spoken to as if they were stupid rather than ill. They had also decided that Steve would be told everything that was going on.  
  
All the time that he was talking Jesse was moving purposefully around the room. He retrieved Steve's clothes out of the small, purpose built wardrobe and laid them across the easy chair. Then he walked to the bed and , pulling the covers back, sat Steve up and swung his legs around until his friends feet were dangling about 18 inches off of the floor. Encouraging Steve to shuffle forward until he was able to place his feet on the floor and stand up Jesse said, "Time for a shower pal," and guided Steve towards the bathroom.  
  
In the two weeks that Steve had been in hospital, Jesse and Jack had managed to get him to the point where he would shower and dry himself. He still did not do anything of his own volition, but would now act on specific instructions.  
  
Knowing that they were going to be making an early start Jesse had arranged for breakfast to be brought to Steve's room about 30 minutes after his arrival. So, by the time that Steve had showered and dried off and was dressed breakfast had arrived. The two friends ate in silence, Steve was still verbally unresponsive and it was only when he had finished that Jesse led him to the car.  
  
Many times, over the years, Jesse had been teased by Steve about his ability to talk for hours on end about nothing at all. However, it was this ability that helped Jesse keep up an almost non-stop flow of conversation on the way to Redwood Plains. He talked to Steve about how the ocean looked, what the weather was like, how they were moving from a built up area into a more wooded district. However, as they neared the end of their journey Jesse fell silent. He knew that the road ahead for Steve would be a long and , perhaps, rocky one.   
  
As they neared Redwood Plains Jesse kept an eye out for the sign that, Kyle had assured him, he couldn't miss. He was right. On the side of the road a few hundred yards ahead Jesse saw a billboard with a large redwood drive on it and across the centre of the tree the words 'Redwood Plains, next right' was printed in large, red letters. Jesse took the turn indicated and followed the long, winding road that he found himself on. He glanced across at Steve to see if there was any reaction. There wasn't. Steve was staring straight out of the windscreen at the road ahead, giving no indication as to whether he had noticed the change of direction at all. The road gradually began to climb and when they reached the brow of the hill Jesse almost gasped in amazement and instinctively pulled over to the side of the road so that he could take in the sight that met his eyes. In the distance was the most beautiful looking building that Jesse had ever seen. From where he sat, it didn't look like any time of hospital that he had ever seen before. In fact, Jesse thought that it looked more like a sprawling ranch house than anything else. Pulling himself together, Jesse put his car back into gear and pulled off again. The road now meandered slowly downwards until, at last, Jesse drove through the gates of Redwood Plains and came to a halt outside the wonderful building he had seen from the top of the hill. The main door of the building opened and through it came an unassuming looking man who, Jesse gauged to be in his late middle age, came out. Jesse stepped out of the car and moved forward to meet the man saying, "Hi, I'm Dr. Jesse Travis. Could you tell me where I might find Dr. Kyle Johnson please?"  
  
Holding out his hand the man said, "I'm Kyle Johnson. It's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Travis, although I am sure you wish it were under more pleasant circumstances."  
  
Taking Kyle's hand and shaking it Jesse replied, "I certainly do, for all sorts of reasons."  
  
Nodding to Steve, who was sitting passively in the passenger seat, Kyle said, "Shall we get Steve inside and settled? Then I'd like to chat with you about Steve."  
  
Jesse knew that his initial impression of Kyle Johnson had been spot on. Here was a man who would look after Steve and, if humanly possible, guide him back to full health. Kyle moved round to the Steve's door, opened it and said, "Hello Steve. My name is Kyle Johnson. It's good to meet you. Would you like to come inside now?"  
  
Jesse, from his vantage point at the back of the car where he was extracting Steve's bags from the trunk, was pleased to see Steve step out of the car in response to Kyle's question. He was also pleased to note that the tone in Kyle's voice was just the tone that he, Jack and Amanda had adopted. Very matter of fact and not patronising. There was, however, still no eye contact or verbal response from Steve. The three men walked inside the building and turned immediately to the right where they were greeted by a young woman in, what was obviously standard uniform for Redwood Plains. She wore bottle green slacks and a beige tunic top, obviously functional but designed to look as if it were something she would wear everyday.   
  
"Ah, Claire," Kyle said, "I'm glad you are here. This is Steve Sloan, he has come to stay with us for a while."  
  
Claire smiled at Steve and said, "I'm pleased to meet you."  
  
No response.  
  
Kyle could sense Jesse's frustration on his friends behalf and said reassuringly, "Don't worry Jesse. This is nothing new to us. Trust me, we will have Steve back to you in one piece," he looked across at Claire and continued, "would you care to show Steve to his room and we'll be along there later."  
Picking up the bags that Jesse had placed on the floor Claire said, "Sure thing Kyle. Come on Steve, let's get you sorted."  
  
Like a lamb Steve followed Claire along the corridor and Jesse watched his friend disappear around the corner before turning to face Kyle again. Kyle was standing watching him with a gentle smile on his face. "You really care about Steve don't you Jesse? I can call you Jesse can't I?" he asked.  
  
"Sure," Jesse replied, " and, yes, I do care about Steve. He's the nearest thing that I have got to a brother. We all care about him. Jack, Amanda, Alex and Cheryl."  
  
"Jack?" Kyle asked chuckling, "would that be a Dr. Jack Stewart?"  
  
"Yes that's right," Jesse replied, "why?"  
  
"I had a phone call from a colleague the other day. She told me that a Dr. Jack Stewart had spoken to her, giving her the third degree about this facility in general and myself in particular."  
  
"I'm sorry," Jesse apologised.  
  
"Don't apologise," Kyle smiled, "If everybody checked out places as thoroughly as you have, then maybe there would be less horror stories around."  
  
Guiding him along wood panelled hallways Jesse soon found himself entering a beautifully furnished room dominated by an enormous picture window. Gesturing for Jesse to sit down in a magnificent leather armchair Kyle sat down behind his desk. Flicking a switch on the intercom he said, "Myra, coffee for two please and we'll have some biscuits as well please."  
  
Coffee served, Jesse and Kyle sat for a while chatting about all sorts of inconsequential things. Eventually, they finished their coffee and, placing his mug carefully back on the tray, Kyle looked at Jesse and spoke, "So, tell me about Steve and what brought him here."  
  
Jesse shot Kyle a surprised look, "But you must know what happened, you have his file."  
  
Kyle smiled, "I know what I've read. I want to hear it from you, a friend."  
  
For the next hour or so Jesse spoke, almost non-stop, about the attack on Mark, his amnesia and disappearance. How, since then, Steve had hardly rested as, in between his on duty shifts, he had spent all his free time driving around the city searching for Mark or doing all the interviews.  
  
"I felt like he was on the edge," Jesse explained, "but I couldn't get him to relax. What you need to know about Steve is that has been like a man possessed. He could not allow himself to believe that Mark had disappeared for good and he was intent on finding him."  
  
"That's not an unusual trait for a police officer Jesse. However, for Steve, the personal element to the search would had raised the stakes to unattainable levels," Kyle paused for a second before continuing, "What exactly was it that sent Steve over the edge?"  
  
"He was called out to a possible homicide. The victim was an older man, with silver hair and moustache to match," Jesse began, " I've spoken to Cheryl, Steve's partner, who was with him and she said he seemed fine albeit a bit distant. He dealt with the case as he would usually do and arranged to see Cheryl back at the precinct house the next morning. He never reported for duty and it was then that I found him."  
  
"Thank you Jesse, I feel that I know a bit more now. Case files are all very well, but they cannot give you the feelings that are often behind the person," Kyle glanced at his watch, "Steve should be settled in his room by now. Do you want to see him before you go?"  
  
He grinned as Jesse leapt to his feet almost before the sentence was finished. "Yes please, " he said.  
  
The two men left the office and retraced their steps to the large entrance hall. From there they continued along another beautifully panelled hallway stopping outside an open doorway. Looking in, Jesse saw Steve sitting in an easy chair gazing out of a large picture window. On the far wall was a large single bed, covered with a brightly coloured quilt. Jesse made a mental note to bring Steve's favourite cover and pillow case in the next time he visited. Brightly coloured quilts were not Steve! Next to it stood a beautiful mahogany beside cabinet on which sat a reading lamp and a smoked glass water carafe with an upturned glass resting on top. As they stood in the doorway Claire emerged from behind the open door of the wardrobe where she had been hanging up Steve's clothes.   
  
"How's it going Claire?" Kyle asked, nodding at Steve.  
  
"I think Steve is as comfortable as he's liable to be at the moment," she replied and, noting the concern clearly visible in Jesse's eyes she continued, " but I am sure we will be able to get him back on track."  
  
Stepping back and motioning Jesse in, Kyle said, "I'll leave you to say goodbye. Claire will show you the way out."  
  
Jesse held out his hand to Kyle and said, "Thank you Kyle. I feel a lot better knowing that you are looking after Steve."  
  
He walked into the room and crouched down in from of the man who, he regarded as his best friend in the world and a surrogate brother, resting his hands on the arms of the chair.  
  
"Steve," he began, "I've got to go now. You look after yourself."  
  
Unprepared for the feelings that threatened to overwhelm him, Jesse quickly stood, tears in his eyes. Claire saw this and walked across to him saying, "Come on, he'll be fine."  
  
Jesse laid a final hand on Steve's shoulder and said, in a voice so soft that Claire could barely make it out, "I'll see you soon pal."  
  
Walking side by side towards the main entrance Claire rested an arm around Jesse's shoulder and said, "He really will be okay here you know. We've had a lot of experience with people in Steve's condition and they have all walked out of here healed."  
  
"I know," Jesse replied, "but this is the first time, in all the years that I have known him, that I haven't been able to make him better. I feel like I've failed him, both as a doctor and a friend."  
  
Pulling Jesse sharply to a halt Claire said forcefully, " You haven't failed him at all Jesse. A large part of being a good doctor is knowing when to pass your patient onto someone who can help them in a way that you can't. That's what you have done and that takes a great deal of courage. As for being a friend, you want the best for Steve, and we ARE the best. So on both counts, you have done exactly the right thing."  
  
Jesse gave her a somewhat watery smile, "Thanks, I needed to hear that."  
  
They continued walking and , very shortly, reached the main entrance. With a last look back along the corridor towards Steve's room Jesse stepped out of the main door. He got into his car and drove away, his eyes sparkling in the reflected sunlight that shone through his windscreen.  
  
****************  
  
He stood in the doorway looking out over the lake in front of him, holding a steaming mug of coffee in his large, suntanned hands and inhaled. The aroma of freshly percolated coffee and the scent of the great outdoors mingled together and gently delighted his olfactory senses.   
  
He smiled.  
  
For the first time in many, many months he had actually looked forward to getting out of bed that morning. Footsteps brushing thought the undergrowth that surrounded his cabin penetrated his reverie and looked in the direction of the sound.  
  
**********  
  
Claire smiled as she saw Steve leaning against the doorpost, coffee mug held almost negligently in one, large hand. Over the past few months she had grown very fond of the tall, handsome police officer. The shell with he had surrounded himself and into which he had so completely retreated had been almost impossible to penetrate. There had been times that Claire had almost admitted defeat and given up, but there was something that kept her going. It could have been the fact that she wanted to see a smile break out on that handsome face. It could have been the unwavering devotion of his friends. Or, she admitted to herself, it could simply have been sheer bloody mindedness on her part. Claire had never failed with a patient before and she wasn't about to let Steve Sloan be the first.  
  
"Morning Steve," she said, as she reached the step leading up to the narrow veranda which ran all the way around the cabin, " How are you this morning?"  
  
"Claire," Steve began, "for the first time in ages it actually feels good to be alive."  
  
As she heard the words and the sincerity with which they were uttered Claire felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes. Unwilling to let Steve see how his words affected her Claire walked on past him into the cabin and poured herself a coffee. Pulling herself together she replied, "I'm glad to hear it Steve."  
  
She took a long, thirsty draught of the muddy brown liquid that Steve called coffee and continued, " So are you ready for our morning walk?"  
  
"Yes ma'am, I surely am. I have the thermos filled and some fruit in the bag already."  
  
"Great," Claire finished her coffee and picked up the rucsac Steve had indicated asking, " Have you filled out your grocery sheet for the week yet?"  
  
Those patients who were staying in the log cabins that surrounded the lake were encouraged to look after themselves as much as possible. It restored in them the feeling of independence that many long-term patients lose. However, every single patient was fully aware that help was always on the other end of the highly sophisticated intercom system that linked every cabin with the main house and which was manned 24 hours a day, seven days a week.   
  
Leaning across the kitchen counter Steve picked up a piece of vivid blue card and handed it to Claire. "I've ordered extra because I have Jesse coming out for a couple of days and he eats like a small horse," looking over at Claire he asked, "that is still okay, isn't it?"  
  
"It's fine Steve," Claire reassured him, "The only reason Kyle would stop Jesse from visiting would be if you felt you couldn't handle it."  
  
"I'm fine," Steve smiled, "It seems such a long time since I saw Jesse and I'm really looking forward to it."  
  
"Four months," Claire confirmed.  
  
"That long?" even Steve was surprised at the length of time.  
  
What Claire didn't say, but she knew that Steve would eventually find out, was that Jesse, Jack and Amanda had taken it in turns to drive out once a week to receive an update on Steve's condition in person. Even when it hadn't been Jesse's turn to visit he always rang and had a long conversation with Kyle. Claire had never failed to be amazed by the devotion of friends and family in cases like this, but the level of commitment that these three people had shown surpassed anything else she had previously encountered.   
  
"Earth to Claire," Steve quipped.  
  
"Sorry," Claire jumped a little as she realised that she had been wool-gathering, "Come on, let's get going."  
  
"Lead on McDuff," Steve replied, stepping aside to allow Claire to precede him out of the door.  
  
Moving out, Claire turned her steps towards the trees behind Steve's cabin and one of the many marked walks. Quite deliberately she chose one of the more challenging routes. It wound up the mountain and then back on itself quite sharply on a number of occasions, sometimes with a sharp gradient. It ended on a plateau high above the cabin giving a stunning view of the lake, the ranch house and the rest of the cabins. An extremely fit woman, Claire set a fast pace. She wanted to make sure that Steve's level of physical fitness, which had been very low in his early days at the ranch house, matched what she perceived his mental fitness to be.  
  
Slinging the rucsac over one shoulder, Steve set off after Claire. A smile flickered across his face as he saw the path she chose. As he had struggled back to the surface of his life over the past few months, he had got to know Claire and the way she worked, quite well and he was fully aware that she was testing him out physically. In many of their conversations they had discussed Claire's views of the correlation between mental and physical fitness and the effect that one can have on the other. Steve thought to himself, with a wry smile, that her earnestness reminded him forcibly of his dad. It took a few steps before he realised that he had thought about his dad without feeling sad. He stopped in his tracks as the revelation took hold of his brain. Claire heard the footsteps behind her halt and turned around to look. She saw Steve standing immobile, like the trees that surrounded them, in the centre of the path with a look of wonderment spreading across his face.  
  
"Steve?" Claire questioned, walking back towards him and placed a gentle hand on his arm, "are you alright?"  
  
Steve's eyes had glazed over a little as he attempted to assimilate his revelation but, at Claire's words they re-focussed.  
  
"My dad," he said simply.  
  
"What about him?" Claire asked.  
  
"I was just thinking about you reminded me of him sometimes," Steve replied.  
  
"And?" Claire prompted.  
  
"I didn't feel sad, or want to curl up in a little ball. There was just a warm glow. Like you haven't seen someone in a long time and then you think about them. That sort of glow," Steve explained, well aware that he wasn't being as clear as he would have liked.  
  
Fortunately, Claire had come to understand Steve's verbal shorthand and was easily able to interpret. Thrilled to hear Steve's words, she knew how much of a breakthrough this actually was. In all of their conversations, Steve had never voluntarily brought up the subject of his father. This was the first time that he had mentioned Mark first.  
  
"In what way do I remind you of your dad?" Claire probed.  
  
"I was thinking about your views on physical and mental fitness," Steve said, "and it occurred to me that you hold and express your views with the same intensity as my dad."  
  
All the while that Steve was talking Claire scanned his face for any minute changes of expression that she had become all too familiar with. To her relief there were none and she let out her breath.  
  
"I think that you have turned the final corner Steve," she said, "It's like you've had the plaster taken off a broken leg for a while and you've only just taken your first step. You knew your leg was better but you have only just plucked up the courage to walk on it. All you need now is time and exercise to recover your strength. I think that Jesse coming for a few days is the best thing right now."   
  
***************  
  
Whistling quietly to himself, Jesse Travis exited Community General at the end of his shift. He headed towards his car and drove along PCH towards the Sloan beach house. He was off duty for the next four days and that, in itself, was enough to make him happy. What made it even better was the fact that he was going to visit Steve. He couldn't believe that it was over four months since he had seen his friend. There had been many changes over that time which he knew Steve would want to know about. The most notable of which was the return to the Community General family of Dr. Jack Stewart. Unexpectedly the position of consultant orthopaedic surgeon had become vacant and the board had offered it to Jack. After much consideration and a lot of soul searching Jack had accepted and had flown back , briefly, to Colorado to tell his partner and sell his share in the clinic.  
  
Pulling up outside the beach house which, subconsciously, he had come to regard as home Jesse sprinted up the red brick steps and entered the building. He re-appeared a few seconds later carrying the two bags he had packed the previous evening. Flinging them into the trunk of his car, Jesse set off again.  
  
He drove along, subconsciously taking the turn-offs that he needed. After the third such turn Jesse realised what he was doing and chuckled to himself. Even though he hadn't seen Steve for ages, he had driven to Redwood Plains often enough to be able to follow the route without thinking about it. As he drew nearer to Redwood Plains Jesse felt an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was like the first, tentative fluttering of a butterflies wings as it emerged from its cocoon. The closer he got, the stronger the flutterings became until, as he turned in through the gates, it felt like there was a whole butterfly colony in his stomach.   
  
Following the instructions he had been given, Jesse pulled up outside the main building. When he had phoned Redwood Plains that morning to confirm his arrival, Kyle had asked him to pop in and see him first. Jesse had been a little concerned at first but Kyle assured him that this was policy and did not mean that there was any sort of problem. Bounding up the outside steps Jess almost ran into Claire emerging from the house.  
  
"Whoah, Jesse!" she laughed, desperately trying to keep her balance.  
  
"Sorry," Jesse grinned, "I'm just on my way on see Kyle."  
  
"I know," Claire replied, "Take it easy, Steve will still be there in thirty minutes. We don't want to have to cart you off to the nearest ER with a broken leg."  
  
Taking a deep breath Jesse attempted to calm down.   
  
"Okay," he replied, with a grin that belied his words, "I'm calm."  
  
"Yeah, right," Claire was sceptical but, she too, was grinning, "Kyle is waiting in his office for you."  
  
"Thanks. See ya," Jesse threw over his shoulder as he disappeared into the ranch house.  
  
***************  
  
Slightly further round the lake, Steve was equally restless. He had cleaned up the cabin, made up the bed in the second bedroom, put the coffee on and had been pacing the floor for what seemed like hours. Jesse was due at six and on looking at his watch for the umpteenth time Steve saw that it was still only 5.30. Knowing that if he didn't do something constructive he'd go mad, Steve decided to take himself off for a short walk. There was a nice easy route that took him down to the lakes edge and he knew that he could get there and back in twenty minutes. He set off at a brisk pace ,the exercise and fresh air having the desired effect on him. On reaching the lake he stood for a few minutes drinking in the view and the peace before deciding to head back. Emerging from the trees he was in a world of his own when he heard a familiar voice say, " Gee Jesse, I was so glad you are coming that I left the cabin empty especially!"  
  
Snapping out of his reverie Steve focussed his vision and saw, standing in front of him, his best friend whose eyes were twinkling with a pleasure that belied his words.  
  
"Jesse!" Steve exclaimed.  
  
He covered the distance that separated them in a second and enveloped Jesse in a bear hug, lifting him off the ground as he did so. "How long have you been here?" he demanded when, eventually, he placed Jesse back on terra firma.  
  
"Only a few minutes," Jesse replied, "I didn't expect you not to be here."  
  
"Sorry Jess, I was getting a little restless and Claire said that I ought to take a walk when I get like that. I have just been down to the lake and back. I'm sorry I wasn't here."  
  
Hearing a little uncertainty in his friends voice, Jesse was quick to reassure him, "Hey pal, I was only kidding. I guessed you were out walking.  
  
Looking around Steve said, "Where are your bags?"  
  
"I already took them in and put them in the spare bedroom. At least I assume it's the spare room because I poked my head round both doors and the other one looks like your bedroom at the beach house. By the way, how do you make so little spread so far around a room?" Jesse asked, turning away to step into the cabin.  
  
The cuff that he received around the back of his head both hurt and pleased him at the same time. It hurt because Steve didn't pull his punches, but pleased him because he knew that Steve was happily taking the light hearted banter in the spirit with which it was meant. From that moment both men relaxed and it was as if they had never been apart.  
  
***************  
  
Later that evening they sat outside on two easy chairs that they had dragged from inside the cabin.  
For a while both men were quiet, content to be in each others company once more. They had chatted about many things whilst preparing and eating the evening meal and had easily slipped into their old relationship, something which pleased both of them. In the silence Steve looked across at Jesse and caught him looking back with a question in his eyes.  
  
"Come on Jess, out with it. You've been dying to ask ever since you arrived," Steve said.  
  
"Ask what?" Jesse attempted, and failed miserably, to feign ignorance.  
  
"How am I?" Steve replied, "That's what you want to ask isn't it?"  
  
"Yes it was Steve," Jesse admitted, "but I can see that you are fine."  
  
"Do you know Jess, I am fine. Better than I have been in a long time," Steve paused for a while and then continued, " I want to thank you for everything you did for me all those months ago."  
  
Jesse looked across and said, "What things?"  
  
"After I tuned out Jess." Steve replied, " I know I didn't show it, mainly because I couldn't, but I was very grateful for everything you did. Getting me dressed before the ambulance arrived. Getting everybody to talk to me like I was still with it and not as if I was an idiot."  
  
Jesse was stunned, "You were aware of all of it?"   
  
"I was," Steve confirmed, "You were right Jess, that is exactly what my dad would have done."  
  
"You heard me say that?"   
  
"I did and I heard lots of other things too. I knew that you, Jack and Amanda weren't going to give up on me. I also heard the chewing out you gave to that young nurse when she said that talking to me was a waste of time."  
  
"Wow," Jesse was amazed, "I always believed that, on some level, you were aware of what was going on but I didn't realise just how much."  
  
"I'll never be able to thank you enough Jess," Steve said softly and, for a moment, the air was thick with emotion until he continued, "So tell me what's been going on in the big wide world? Anything exciting?"  
  
" Well, we have a new orthopaedic surgeon at CG." Jesse began.  
  
"No really? Do tell," Steve butted in, his tone full of sarcasm, " I'm sooooo interested."  
  
"I'll tell Jack how thrilled you are that he has come back," quipped Jesse.  
  
"Jack!" Steve exclaimed, "I thought he was settled in Colorado."  
  
"So did we all. But the board offered him the post and he accepted," Jesse answered.  
  
Looking at his friend, aware that he and Jack hadn't totally hit it off, Steve asked, "and how do you feel about that?"  
  
"I'm fine. Jack and I have worked out our differences," Jesse said, "although it took Amanda verbally knocking our heads together to make us see sense."  
  
"How is Amanda? CJ? Dion?"   
  
"They are all fine and can't wait for you to come home," Jesse said. He looked across at Steve and continued, "So when do you think you will be home?"  
  
"Well, Kyle said that if I coped with your visit okay I should be able to go home with you."  
  
Not letting Steve know that that was exactly what Kyle had said to him earlier Jesse smiled and simply said, "I think I'll take that as a compliment!"  
  
Steve grinned back and said, "You know what I mean."  
  
"Of course I do," Jesse said, jumping up and making a dash for the kitchen "So, I'll wash and you wipe."  
  
**************  
  
On the last day of Jesse's visit he and Steve made their way around the lake to the main ranch house for their appointment with Kyle. Despite everything, they were both very nervous. Kyle's word was final and if he didn't think Steve was ready then Jesse would be going home alone.   
Knocking on Kyle's door they heard his voice call, "Come in," and, opening the door, they walked in. Kyle was standing by his window looking out over the lake and looked across as the two men entered the room.   
  
"Steve. Jesse. It's good to see you together at last. Come and sit down, I'll get Myra to bring the coffee in."  
  
As at the start of Steve's stay, Kyle's secretary Myra, brought in the coffee and then left the men to talk.   
  
"So Steve, how are you feeling?" Kyle asked.  
  
"I'm feeling really great Kyle," Steve responded.  
  
"How do you feel about going home?"  
  
"I'm really looking forward to it. A little nervous, but nothing that I feel I can't handle," Steve looked across at Jesse, "especially with Jesse, Jack and Amanda to look out for me."  
  
Kyle looked across at Jesse and asked, "How do you feel Jesse?"  
  
"I haven't seen Steve as relaxed as this in a long time. I believe that going home would be the best thing for him right now. However," he looked across at Steve before continuing, "I don't think that he ought to go back to work for a while."  
  
"I agree Jesse," Kyle said and looked across at Steve, "I think you are ready to go home but you need to concentrate on that before you even think of going back to work."  
  
For a few seconds Steve stared out of the window and Jesse was afraid that he was going to argue the point. He had been on the losing end of many * I'm ready to go back to work * arguments to be totally relaxed at this point. A gentle sigh escaped Steve's lips as he turned to look at Kyle and Jesse, "I agree with you. I don't think I am anywhere near ready to go back to work. In fact," he continued, "I'm not sure that I ever want to go back to being a police officer."  
  
To say Jesse was stunned was an understatement. His mouth dropped open and Steve, seeing this, grinned. "Didn't expect that huh Jess?" he asked.  
  
"No I didn't," his friend replied.  
  
Unwilling to break into this friendly banter, which he was pleased to see, Kyle felt he had to ask the next question.  
  
"What about your dad Steve?"  
  
"What about him?" Steve replied.  
  
"Do you now accept that he is gone for good?"  
  
"No," replied Steve, bluntly.  
  
"Steve!" Jesse exclaimed, "you can't keep searching, that's how you ended up here in the first place."  
  
"Jesse," Steve's voice softened, " I know that and I won't be like that again. When I said no to Kyle's question I meant that I will never stop believing that, one day, I will see dad again. However, I also accept that I probably won't be the one to find him. One day, when he's ready, he will find us."  
  
Both Kyle and Jesse relaxed back into their seats at these words.  
  
"Steve," Kyle said, "I think that you are ready to go home."  
  
****************  
  
Next morning after just a few hours sleep, Steve and Jesse having sat up talking into the small hours, they stood by Jesse's car which was packed to the gunnels. Kyle and Claire were with them.  
  
"Well Steve," said Kyle, "it is so good to be seeing the back of you."  
  
Steve laughed and replied, "It's good to be going Kyle. I must admit that there were times when I thought it would never happen."  
  
"You and me both," murmured Claire, with a grin that Steve matched as he heard the words.  
  
Reaching out he gave her an enormous hug and a kiss before whispering in her ear, "Thanks for not giving up on me."  
  
"My pleasure," she replied, tears unashamedly running down her face.  
  
"Come on," said Jess, getting into the car having shook hands with both Kyle and Claire," Lets get this show on the road."  
  
Steve got into the passenger seat and, with a final look out over the lake, quietly said, "Lets go home Jess."  
  
THE END  
1 


End file.
